Loss

I’ve been the primary caretaker for a disabled adult son. That task ended yesterday. The illness took him from me and now I’ve got to get through the raw pain.

I’ll get through it the same way I got through his long, cruel illness. I’ll write. Only in writing have I found an escape. In the past year I began writing fiction; until that time I wrote this blog and a number of short essays for friends on Facebook.

I woke up this morning at 4am, after the sleeping pills wore off. Since then, I’ve written introductory chapters to the next two novels. Television, even reading, are too superficial. My thoughts drift away to Kevin. But that doesn’t happen when I write. For you who suffer, I offer my own experience. Try it. It works. Write, share your thoughts and your emotions. And sometimes, share your tears as well.

So I’ll dedicate this short essay to my wonderful son who fought hard until the end, never blaming others for the unhappiness the disease brought him.

Kevin Knapp, born in May of 1970, taken from us in March of 2014. Rest in peace, beloved son.

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5 Responses to “Loss”

  1. James Cooper Says:

    My thoughts are with you Jack. It’s a tough one — hoping your writing brings you solace. — James C.

  2. jlknapp505 Says:

    Thanks, James.

  3. Jacque Parks "Rhonwyn" Says:

    Jack & Pat. So sorry for ur loss of my first love Kevin “Taran”. I will start writing too. Lost both parents n brother recently and within 11 months. So I feel ur pain. Take care, Jack. U were always so sweet to me.

  4. donnainthesouth Says:

    Jack, just found you through mgc but wanted to let you know how much I feel that I understand what you’re going through and am so sorry; this is the 1st anniversary, this month, this next week, of losing our little granddaughter; my thoughts with you especially as I wish you peace in getting through this next week

    • jlknapp505 Says:

      Thanks, Donna.
      It was tough, especially the first two days. But we finished all the finicky legal details and I had something not available to everyone; I had my books. I posted the first on Amazon Kindle and followed up by posting the second yesterday. Work helped me get through the grief.
      Some carve names in stone; Authors can dedicate their work publicly, and that’s what I did.

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